on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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