we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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