What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
