He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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