i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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