Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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