Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
even my farts smell like vagina
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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