I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize