We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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