Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
