so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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