Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
