my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
