I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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