I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
