honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
