We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Holy shit dude........stairs
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
