nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
