I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
