sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
