His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
