Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I touched a dick in church today
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
