there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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