do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
