All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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