Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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