grandma shit on top of the toilet
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize