i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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