I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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