Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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