im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
