Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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