i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
