Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize