that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You smell like stripper and shame
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
