Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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