He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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