Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
