Kiss
Puke
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Buhtt sex?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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