there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
