It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
