Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He passed out mid-signature
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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