let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
