told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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