do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Randomize
