When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
