singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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