I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
