Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
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he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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