we have pet lesbian snakes
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
