I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
