Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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