I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
