He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
