I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
