Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
