Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
