Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Every concussion has its silver lining
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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