Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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