did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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