You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
where are you?
Hypothermia
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
