I hate all girls vehemently.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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