He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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